twelve months of bliss

12 Months of Bliss, Feb.: Sharing Kindness Over Negativity.

February 3, 2016

Well, I’m going to preface this post by saying that I think this month’s challenge is one of the most challenging. In fact, it might be hard to read and difficult to accept that we might fit into any part of it. However, I think it’s also one of the most important challenges in this Twelve Months of Bliss journey. I believe that it’s so powerful, it could completely change our world. So, deep breaths. Let’s WORK HARD, together, at this month’s challenge, ok?

Feb Challenge EG


The world is changed by your example. Not by your opinion. -Paulo Coelho

Challenge: For the month of February, choose kindness over gossip within your social circles and community.

How often: Daily.

What you will need: Honest self-reflection, self-control, grace for others, and a grateful heart.

Why?: There is so much gossip, negativity, and hurtful words thrown around every single day.  And can I tell you something? You are a part of this problem. I am a part of this problem. And it’s time we stop contributing to negative behavior. If we want a better, kinder world, it must start with us. Bullying doesn’t just happen in high schools. It happens in coffee shops, girls night outs and mom groups; it’s in blog posts, tweets and Facebook posts, and phone calls. Make a choice this month to say no to gossip, to say no to negativity. Make a choice to be kind to others – whether you know them or not. And if you find yourself having a hard time saying anything positive about someone, something, or a situation? Practice silence. (“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”) 

It starts in your heart and it starts in your mind. Let’s share our dreams with each other, and let’s help each other put those dreams into action. Let’s aim to speak, think and do things that are going to better ourselves, each other, and our world.

[For those of you keeping a 12MofBliss journal: Have you been in a situation this month where you chose to keep quiet, to say nothing at all, when someone else was gossiping or speaking negatively about someone or something else? How did it feel? Awkward? Empowering? By the end of the month, what things were brought to light in your life? Were you able to focus on better things? Did you see others in better light? What is kindness to you? Is it a thought? A spoken word? An action? ]

February’s Linkup: This month’s linkup will take place at Ember Grey on Wednesday, February 24. This linkup will serve as a place for all of us to share our thoughts and reflections on this particular challenge. Hope to see you there!

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  • Love this! You are so correct that bullying occurs in all of our “adult” circles. Sadly, we each play a part of it. Looking forward to working on this.

  • My goodness. Yes, yes, abso-freakin-lutely yes!! I’m on board because this so needs to be done by everybody (me included). Love this!

  • Looking forward to joining in on 12 months of bliss! This is a great challenge.

  • I can think of instances when I’ve remained quiet or changed the subject from gossip… but I can think of more instances when I engaged and fueled the negative conversation. I love this month’s challenge of self-reflection. I think this will be a great one!

  • I love this one! If we could all make this a permanent habit, that would be amazing. Life-changing.

  • chall1018

    Oh how I love this! Sometimes I absolutely loathe scrolling through Facebook because it’s filled with so much negativity!! Great challenge my friend.

    • SAME, Crystal! I’ve taken many many Facebook breaks because I just can’t stand it. (And honestly, if my grandparents weren’t on FB and look forward to updates/pictures/etc, I’d delete my account. haha)

  • ohh I love this so much!

  • this is one of my biggest weaknesses. I don’t hate silences, but sometimes I choose to fill the conversation with “did you hear about…” and “can you believe that…” instead of asking about the person I’m talking to and paying attention to my present company. this is fabulous.

    • It’s really, really hard. I know. It’s a tough challenge and feels really weird but it is totally possible.

  • Love this. It’s definitely not the easier option in most cases. Going to give it a shot!

  • Ugh this is such a hard thing in my work place, I work with a majority of women and it is so hard to have to listen to the negativity and gossip spewed, I’m going to shower kindness like confetti this month.

  • Oh boy…this is going to be a challenge for sure. It’s one thing to remove the negativity from ourselves, another to deal with it coming from others in our life. Even the ones we love. Challenge accepted!

    • I think it’s especially hard with the ones we love, for sure. Glad to have you join me again, Michelle!

  • This is great!!! I find this is especially hard for women, but a challenge that is certainly worthy of our time and effort!

  • Needed to read this, as the school culture where I currently work at is SO gossipy.

    • It’s absolutely everywhere. It was definitely the hardest for me when I worked a corporate job. Glad to have you join me this month, Rachael!

  • This is probably my favorite so far. I deal with so much bullying every day (and I’m 30!). I wish more people could chose kindness over negativity.

    • Sometimes I wonder if the gossip and bullying gets worse the older we get. Shame on all of us, you know?! I’m hoping we all feel pushed to be better this month!

      • I really do think it gets worse as we get older. I think that some people are so worried about being the “best” that they will put down others to achieve that status (in their eyes). I am reading “If You Feel Too Much” by Jamie Tworkowski (the founder of TWLOHA) right now. There is so much in this book that resonates with me. He continually talks about how we should always be kind to others, even if they aren’t kind to us, because everyone has their own battle and we shouldn’t be contributing to that.

  • This is going to be such a challenge (not that I am a negative person, but that negativity is all over in the every day). I can’t wait to work through this and attempt this challenge!

  • Ruthie Gray

    You are right, the seed of negativity begins in our hearts and minds. This is a wonderful challenge – we need more of this type (focusing on the inside) I think! Even with our kids (and grandkids) we can take a negative attitude and that affects everything (and everyone)!

  • This is going to be hard on so many levels but I am in.

  • This is such a hard thing to do…I’ve tried to do it periodically before, especially when I felt like my social interactions were too bogged down with complaints and gossip about others. SO HARD. But soooooo worth it – even when everyone gets awkward about you not joining in with their usual banter about someone else. I’m going to try hard on this!!!! XO

    • So hard. The thing I’ve had to remember is that no one is forcing me to partake in the gossip and negativity. It’s a choice and we just need to make the better one! So glad you’re doing this with me, friend !XO

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  • I’ve been trying to work on this since I heard a sermon about how dangerous the tongue is. & powerful. It brings life … or can kill the soul. I love being intentional about this. Thanks for the reminder!

  • I have the hardest time with this at work!!

    • I’m telling you- it’s a breeding ground for this kind of thing, I know! (I also have a hard time with it when I’m with my best friends or family.)

  • We need more of that in this hateful world. You’re amazing.

  • Thank you for making this February’s focus! My word for the year is kindness and I’ve been discovering so many things about me and others by exploring it! You’re right in saying it takes much patience and grace to really be kind to one another, and I can’t wait to share what I’ve discovered during the upcoming weeks. Thanks so much, Emily!

    • aw, thank you Maria! I’m really looking forward to everyone’s share at the end of this month!

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