Chicago adventures

Chicago Adventures, Part 2: I Will Take You.

June 4, 2014

If there is one thing I love about living in Chicago, it’s that no commuting day is a dull one – there is always something eventful that happens here. I love how diverse this city is; I’ve been fortunate to live in various Chicago neighborhoods and therefore experience “it all.” There is a lot of sadness and heartbreak in this city, but there is also a lot of adventure and craziness that quickly turns into stories I love to share at any chance I get.

One of my favorite transportation stories involves a woman, her son, and the Green Line train. The Green Line? If you’re from Chicago I can see you, raising your eyebrows right now gettin’ all judgy. If you don’t live in Chicago, let’s just say this particular train goes through a rough neighborhood, so it tends to be pretty loud, crazy happenings, lots of booze either rolling on the ground or being spilled by the guy sitting in the seat next to you… and whenever I rode the Green Line? Well I pretty much white-knuckled it the whole way home.

This particular day had been another crazy day at work, and I was SO ready to just be home. I’d accidentally left my headphones sitting on my office desk and therefore had the pleasure of listening to the surrounding conversations on the train. Normally this would be something I’d look forward to, listening to the craziness, but this particular day? NOPE. I was sick of it all. I’d had enough of the homeless guy begging me for money – just like he’d done the day before and the day before and the day before, not realizing he’d already used his story on me previously. That’s the thing- you live here long enough and you start to recognize who’s truly in need of money so that they have a place to sleep that night or grab a bite to eat versus the kid who skipped school that day and wants your money so he can go buy drugs. And while I was somewhat getting a kick out of the lady next to me telling her girl friend about how her baby daddy better “trust and believe” (yes, actual verbiage) that if he didn’t start paying child support she’d take him to the Maury Show (totally would’ve watched that one), I was definitely getting sick of the guy sitting across from me, staring at my chest.

All of a sudden, some kid just a few seats down from me starts having a complete tantrum. I’m talkin’ total meltdown, you guys. For a split second I thought Right there with ya, kid until his mom started yelling back at him telling him to shut up, etc etc etc. She was straight up hollerin’ … and by “hollerin'” I’m talking full on f-bombs being dropped left and right. Did I mention this kid was probably 3 or 4? I was in shock, even more so to realize that no one else on the train seemed to notice (or care) that this mom was verbally freaking out on her kid. So as he continued to scream, the mom yelled back “Knock it off!” and I’m telling you- without skipping a beat- the kid says to her, “Mom! I will TAKE you!”

So naturally I burst out laughing… uncontrollably… realizing how horrible this was that I was laughing, which only made me laugh harder. This laugh, you guys… it was the kind of laugh that’s a mix of complete amazement, shock, nervousness, and terror… you know the kind. It started out super loud and obnoxious and slowly turned into the silent laugh where my shoulders were moving up and down and it probably looked like I was having a seizure. The kid was so caught off-guard that I was laughing – truly out of control laughing – over his comment that he stared at me… along with his mom…. along with everyone else in the train car. Who’s the crazy one now??! I quickly thought of literally anything else to get me to stop laughing so I wouldn’t get beat up. Not even the dude asking for money would come near me. So that took care of… well… pretty much everything that day.

Need to catch up on this series? Check out Part 1.

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  • I can not even imagine that train ride…I think I would have laughed too at that comeback. Yikes! I have to red everyday, even if it's a page or two; it just relaxes me. As for the pounds coming off. Is it wrong that I wish they would just fall off with no effort from me? Of course not. Will it ever happen? OF COURSE NOT!

  • Haha omg only entertaining things like this can happen on the Green Line. I've never been on it so I don't have any to add, but I can only imagine!!

  • That is too dang funny!! Living in a small city/big town, I find humor in your transportation stories in the big city. We just don't have that kind of fun around here lol!

  • Hahaha I would be kinda terrified. Trains always freak me out cause I live in a small city where we don't have them. Ugh I always need more time to read!!

  • HAHAH that is totally something that I would do too!! I feel like I am constantly in those situations as well

  • I've never been to Chicago but I hear very similar stories from the trains in Boston here. I am not a train fan so I just hear them, but this is definitely a funny story. I chuckled at my desk reading this. I'm taking the train into the city next week and I will be hoping for a good story.

  • Welp, you've got more guts than me to ride that train, that's for sure. I'll be praying for a job to work out for you, honey. And hey, I'm not agreeing that you need to lose weight, but I've actually been planning to do a post on how I lost 25 lbs. in about 3 months. Gosh that sounds so gimmicky, but it's not, and it's very very healthy. And I didn't even exercise. (Okay, now I sound like an ad. :P)

  • I call myself Dude as well. Many of your wishes are mine as well.

  • Ugh I hate when I leave my headphones! It's totally a safety net but I'm not ready to give it up.

  • I am totally reading that 'dude' comment in a British accent now…HA!! πŸ™‚ After 5 years on the NYC subway and 5 on the London Underground, I am right there with you on strange situations happening on transport…some funny, many creepy. Yours made me laugh out loud!!

  • There's a huge part of me that wants to live in a city with subways. Right now, I LOVE sunny San Diego and all the freeway madness we deal with here…but NYC, Chi-Town…would love to live and experience living in a city like those someday. Then winter hits and I'm thankful for SD.

  • Laughing so hard at that story! I once saw a kid whip a tube of mini M&Ms at his mom in the store. They hit her in the forehead and then busted open all over the ground. No matter how inappropriate it was (terribly!) I just could NOT hold it together. I had to jump out of line to compose myself.

    So many exciting things happening at Ember Grey…love the energy you put into everything here. Looking forward to hearing more about how you & X formed your relationship.

    Oh, and the patience thing…I totally hear you! Thought by now I'd have it all figured out. πŸ™‚

  • chall1018

    People are craaaazaaayy! Loving this series, lady.