personal writing quote

Do your friends place you in your best light?

January 21, 2015

This quote is one of my favorites, bookmarked in one of my quote books from years ago, but I think of it often.

Our new home is really starting to come together, however the walls remain completely bare. The reason being because I’m missing my picture-hanging-helper-buddy (aka: Christian, who is still out of town) and need to wait until he gets back to officially hang up any art work. He and I have a system – he holds the picture up against the wall and I stand way at the back of the room, moving to each corner, to see how it looks in the spot. Bless the man because this is usually a multistep process in that I have to see it in different spots on the wall. And then sometimes on another wall. With various lighting. And then moved again- usually right back where it started. So since I can’t hang anything yet, I’ve been taking different pictures to each room and resting them up against the wall, just below the spot I think it might look the best in.

Yesterday afternoon, as I sat at my desk to catch up on some blog reading, I happened to look over at one of the pictures leaning up against the wall. The sun was hitting itย just soย and I smiled as I realized it was the perfect spot in the room for it. What’s more is that this particular picture was a new gift, given to me by a friend, to welcome me into my new home. And I couldn’t help but remember the Jennie Churchill quote. I’m so grateful to have friends (new and old, near and far) who encourage me, inspire me, remind me of who I am in the moments I start to doubt, welcome me into new adventures, and who continuously hold me in the best light. Isn’t that how it should be? I sure think so. I think anyone you allow to be a part of your personal life should treat you this way.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who was telling me about a “friend” of hers who treats her poorly. This person puts her down, criticizes her dreams and goals when shared, and only reaches out when everyone else is busy. So of course I asked her, ‘So why do you continue to be friends with this person?’ and my friend said, ‘Well, I’ve known her for forever and, well, she’s not like one of my true friends.’ and I said, ‘You know… I think once we reach a certain point in life, there should be an allotted amount of space, reserved only for true friends.’ She laughed and then said, ‘I think sometimes I forget that I can actually choose my friends.’

Sometimes we do forget we can pick and choose the people we allow into our personal lives. No one is perfect, no, and all relationships have their bumps (how else would anyone grow in life?), but I think we should cautiously reserve that precious space for the people who treat us how we might like to be treated. The friends who encourage and inspire and welcome and remind… for the ones who place us in ‘that perfect spot’ – the spot with the best light.

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  • Jae

    Love this, Emily. I learned this lesson several years ago; I had to let some friends go because of certain circumstances. I'm happy with only a few good friends that I have now.

    P.S. My favorite color is purple! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • This is so true <3 As I'm getting older, I'm realizing I do get the choice in my friendships… to end them if they aren't fulfilling anymore, and to constantly pursue new ones!

  • Lindsay

    Love this. I had to let go of the person I considered to be my best friend a few years ago. It was difficult and sad, but felt like a huge weight was lifted at the same time. What a fantastic quote to live by!

  • I love this and the truth behind it – sometimes we have to allot ourselves those people in our lives that will only place us in light, and vice versa. Hunter and I have the same picture hanging routine – it just works lol!

  • Absolutely! The older I get the less tolerance I have for drama, dishonesty and negativity. I have a very small group of friends who I love and adore. Every single one of them are salt of the earth kind of people. I'd rather focus my love and energy on a small group of solid friends than a large group of so/so friends.

    So well written Emily. Great food for thought!

    V
    Life+1

  • How have I never heard that quote before? Beautiful words and a beautiful message.

  • Yes– the older I get the more I recognize the importance of having quality friends around!

  • So true. Sometimes we've just been "friends" with a person for so long we stay out of familiarity rather than a true and happy connection. It's hard, but releasing those people who bring you down (no matter how long you've known them) is like a weight lifted off your chest. I've had to do this a couple of times, and while it hurt a little, it was best for me, and them, in the long run.

  • When I was younger, I remember thinking that it was the quantity of friends, not the quality, that mattered. Now that I'm older, it is the complete opposite! Loved reading this today, Emily!

  • What a great reminder. As I get older I realize my threshold for, excuse me for saying this, b.s. is much lower. I am at the point in life where what you say is exactly true…those we have in our lives should be thrones that we feel most comfortable with, who we can be ourselves with, and who can encourage and support us in all that we do. And I aim to be that type of friend for them. As always….beautiful post!

  • Alexandra Mayhew

    Agree with all of it Emily ๐Ÿ™‚ I figured out years ago that spending time with people who aren't real friends is draining and exhausting- so now I only have my true, wonderful friends in my life X

  • This is such a great post. Really what I needed to read today. Its that time of year again where we try to resolve things and that's one important one. We need positive people in our lives. Thanks for sharing!

  • Em this is lovely! I had to pin the quote, because I"d never come across it before and I think it's wonderful. And your thoughts behind it are so lovely and pure – somehow you get your point across about not hanging onto "toxic friends" without anything negative spilling out whatsoever…I love that about your writing!!

  • So true! I used to care so much more about quantity of friends rather than quality, but I have a small group of close friends now and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

  • How did I miss this post. This was beautifully said and again something I needed to hear. You are always so good at saying what I need to hear just when I need to hear it. You are so right, yes people are human and sometimes say and do things that hurt us but if this is a continued behavior .. it could be time to let them go. Friends should always put friends in their best light. I think that is a new favorite quote of mine. Thanks for sharing.

  • I love this post. I love that quote. It is so true.. I am the worst on hanging up photos. The hubs just hangs them up while I'm gone.

  • Dance With A Dolly

    Couldn't agree more. I had a few friends, a few years back who weren't necessarily bad to me but they were such negative people. Always complaining about EVERYTHING and always being b*tches to others. They were actually transforming me to be like them and I needed to drop them asap.

  • It's a heartbreaking lesson but a good one! PS- my favorite color is purple too ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • "shedding the weight" – SO true.

  • It's heartbreaking… I went through that back in college. Not easy but worth it in the end.

  • pictures, curtains, even furniture placement… I need my partner here to back me up! ha!

  • same ๐Ÿ™‚ And just as I don't want to be around the negativity & drama, etc – my friends feel the same way.. which keeps my own mind from going there ๐Ÿ™‚

  • You too, lady! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I know! The only place I've ever seen it is in this particular quote book that I got way back in high school.

  • exactly! It's so not easy but IS so important.

  • me too ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel blessed to still have many of the girls I was friends with in middle/high school as my best friends today. I know how rare that is.. somehow we've grown together.

  • oh I hear you. I am the same way and also feel like the "bs" is easier to spot now that I know I don't want it in my life.

  • Things we learn as we age! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Thank you, Trish, I'm so glad this found you at just the right moment ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ Everyone has stories they *could* share about this type of thing… but the only thing that does is take me back to that place of negativity so I just don't go there.

  • I love hearing that other people have a great group of friends too! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • aw, thank you Faith! (Yes, it's one of my favorite quotes!!)

  • Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ haha – well, Christian will be back next week and I've told him to keep his week open because WE HAVE WORK TO DO ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Misery sure does love company… and it's so easy to get sucked into that kind of thinking when that's what surrounds you. I'm so glad you walked away from that!

  • Jae

    A good one, indeed. Haha! I can tell! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • wow that really is a fantastic comment and you do definitely forget…i know i do! as long as you can keep giving and loving them even if they don't give you what "you" want though i think thats important to remember as well, love that quote!

  • Brittany Olson

    You know that is an excellent quote. In my past life when I used to social media you had all these "friends" and none of them are real friends, you know. I could count on one hand who I could really count on if I needed help. The rest are simply acquaintances. I "love" the friends who reach out to you when everyone and every other option is exhausted. Those surely are not friends.
    I am supposed to say my favorite color is green BTW
    And thank you for this post. It was refreshing because it brings this point to the light ha ha

  • Thank you for this. โ™ฅ Just, thank you.

  • Liz

    Oh goodness. How I can relate. It is so true. Most of my closest friends now are college friends and coworkers. I have been through unfortunate hiccups like that when life's path takes you in two different directions. Wonderful post! xoxo

  • Thanks for reading, Liz! ๐Ÿ™‚ xo

  • I'm glad that I am not the only one who does this. I can't wait to see the pictures.

  • I can sooo relate to this post. Over the years, I have learned that there is no sense in keeping people in your life who don't treat you good. I have also learned that your true friends will be there for you no matter what…I have a lot of feelings about friends…this post really struck me!

  • Such a beautiful quote and absolutely true, friends are essential in life and good friends are the best people to spend your time with

  • For sure! I'm so thankful for "my people" ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Amen! I'm always wishing for more time with my friends ๐Ÿ™‚