faith heartbreak

The Hope I Have is BIGGER.

June 14, 2016


Truth: I haven’t known what to say in this space for the last week. Like, what to really say. I have a huge list of “blog topics” for when I might find myself in some sort of a blogging rut but that’s not what this is. I was excited, and relieved, to have my sweet friend Bekah’s post to share with you all yesterday – about her upcoming and very important mission trip to India. But leading up to that post and then this morning, I kept wondering what to even write about. What I would personally talk about.

There’s A LOT going on in our country right now – things that make me angry, break my heart, and have me seriously concerned about the future of humanity. I have shed tears, I have prayed, I have expressed my fear and anger, and I have remained quiet – at times for days. And truly, I sit here and wonder – what do I even say in this space today? For a few days, that question began to give me anxiety – I wasn’t sure what the “right” thing to do even was. Do I write about ALL of my feelings on ALL of the things? Or do I “keep it light” and talk about the other million things going on in my head?

I feel like we bloggers have gotten into the dangerous habit of feeling like we have to explain everything and anything we write about. But sometimes it’s not as simple as feeling ONE way – sometimes our hearts are pulled in a million directions. And just because we may write about a happy thing, doesn’t mean we don’t still hurt when bad things happen. And if we write about the ways our hearts are breaking, it doesn’t mean we can’t still feel joy about things that make us happy. Feelings are not black and white – there is always a shade of gray thrown in there somewhere. They are what they are and I think we’re all entitled to feel however we feel. Sometimes that means we take some time away, other times it means we talk about the things that make us happy, and other times it means we talk about what’s making us sad. But we must remember the gray parts in people’s feelings – and it’s not our place to judge that. Not ever.

Isn’t it crazy that it’s possible to feel both heartbreak and gratitude at the same time? I think it’s called hope. Hope is such an amazing thing, just on its own. It’s just always there, always there. Because really it has to be – it’s what keeps us going. For those of us who don’t want to give up and refuse to give up – on a situation, on people, on this world, on love – it doesn’t matter how much our hearts break or how angry we feel when a senseless tragedy occurs, hope still remains through it all in some part of our soul. There are many things in this world that are currently breaking my heart but the hope I have is so much bigger. And not just because I want it to be bigger – it just is. On its own. That’s pretty incredible.

There is one thing I’d like to say right here in this little space, in-between the rest of these paragraphs and that is this: LOVE IS LOVE and hate is hate. There is no “better” love over another love. And there is no “worse” hate over another hate. It might look different, another person’s love – but it’s still love. It might look different, another person’s hate – but it’s still hate. There is no gray area in love, there is no gray area in hate. But do you know what the greatest thing about all of this is? We each have the choice – no matter what – to choose which one we’re going to practice, which one we’re going to embrace. So here’s my question for all of us, here’s my “challenge” – Can we all extend kindness to each other? To those we know, to those we don’t know? Can we extend it like we’ve never extended it before? To those who are just like us, and to those who are completely different than us? To those who return the kindness and especially to those who don’t? Even if we can’t find it in our hearts to love everyone, we can CHOOSE kindness. Can we do it? I think we can. More importantly, I think we have to. We must.

I’ll be getting together with my ladies small group tomorrow night. We’ll be having a pizza party, celebrating life and each other and love, and most of all – celebrating Jesus and that He has already won the war. He has already won the war – with LOVE. Not with hate, but with great love. And those are tears of gratitude and heartbreak and joy I’ll cry over and over and over again, until He takes me home.


Wishing you all a true week – to feel however you feel, without explanation. XO.

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  • The HOPE you have is so much bigger. I love that so much Emily. It’s scary to think what the world COULD be like as our children grow up, but I have faith that we can make a change.

  • Such a beautiful post, thank you for your words!

  • XOXOXO Emily!!

  • I 100% agree with you. And I think “hope” is exactly the right word.
    Hate is hate. I was just thinking that yesterday. If you spread any sort of hate then you spread ALL sorts of hate. You don’t get to hate exclusively. Hate is hate is hate. It’s like a toxic vine- it does and will cover everything if you plant it.

  • I love this, friend. So beautifully written. I have struggled with this lately – I feel so angry! But, like you, I have hope.

  • Thank you so much for writing today what I needed to read.

  • Thank you for saying this. You are so right: feelings are not black and white….and we are all entitled to feel how we feel. I have so much HOPE after reading this….hope because there are still good people like you in the world

  • thank you for reminding me of hope. and how it is bigger than anything dark and bleak in our world. beautiful piece.

  • I love this. I just posted a status on Facebook earlier about my feelings currently and it aligns well with yours. Hope. <3

  • My heart has been full of sadness this past week and as long as I have lived and seen many things change in our world, sometimes there are just no words that can be said. The feelings though, are real. We must feel them and we must continue to believe there is always HOPE. Your post shed some happy on my soul today.

  • I love this post. Love is love is love – and one should never give up hope. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • Amen, amen. I love reading posts like this. Gives me so much hope and reminds me that life gets better. It’s worth living despite the bumps along the way. 🙂

    Have a lovely week, gorgeous!

  • It’s aboslutely possible to write about both. We can be both terribly sad for things that are happening in the world, while also being incredibly happy about what is happening in our own little worlds.

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