I’d like to think of myself as a positive person. Someone who can and wants see the good in people. Someone who can still see the good in bad days or hard situations. To choose it because I simply can. It was a little “movement” that began in 2010 when I started the Twelve Months of Bliss project/challenge and let me tell you- I rocked it for a good while. But somehow, in the last year, even though I was telling myself I was staying positive, I sure was talking a lot about things that were far less than positive. I didn’t realize it at the time, but anytime something would happen- anything- (mostly drama or something “bad” that had happened or stressed me out) I was going to talk about it. I began to react to things immediately, instead of allowing some time to pass. If something great happened? Call mom. Talk her ear off. Something bad happened? Definitely call mom but then also call your best friend and tell her about it. And then come home and talk your husband’s ear off about all the he-said-she-said crap and just exactly how I feel about it, darn it anyway. It became this gossipy, horrible pattern I’d learned. And the more I did it, the more I realized others around me were doing it too. Almost like I had made it okay to act that way. And you guys- it was straight up annoying and gross.
And then one afternoon, I got a little swift kick in the rear. It was during a conversation with my best friend and she was telling me about how she’d realized recently that she was always calling her mom or sister about things first, and then going to God like days later about it all, instead of taking everything to Him first. (Can we just say I felt the spotlight on me BIG TIME as we stood together in her home?!) I think I responded with something like “Oh my gosh, totally. I do the exact same thing.” But what I really could have said was “THAT’S ME LIKE ALL THE TIME AND EVERY SINGLE DAY AND OKAY, GOD, I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!” Like I said, swift kick in the rear and very much needed.
SO. Now that I had this new resolution, to take more things- everything- to God first, I got to thinking about it more. What if I took it one step further and instead of having the mentality that I would always bring my troubles and concerns and my bad days to God, what if I changed the idea a bit and took Praise to God instead? Sure, I’ll have rough days. I will. And I know God wants ALL of it from me- the good, the bad, and the oh so very ugly. And I know that just because I choose to live and think positively- to speak positive things, doesn’t mean life becomes just rosy. BUT – it sure does become a lot brighter. If even on my bad days, I can find something to give Praise to God for. After all, isn’t He worthy of that? (The answer is YES, AMEN!)
The irony of writing this today, out of all days, is that I’m slowly recovering from the stomach flu. And I’m not talking about a little cold or a measly old bug. I’m talking like – hey, way to go at really kickstarting the whole Lose the Holiday Weight in 2014, BECAUSE I GOT IT DONE IN 24 HOURS sick. The whole day today, I just prayed and prayed that God would heal me… I mean, not only did I feel like death but I had too much to do, I was getting antsy. (You know, as I laid on the bathroom tile floor, thinking about everything I had planned on getting done today.) The whole time I kept thinking, “Why me, why now?! This is the worst!” and then it’s like, dude. It’s the flu. Get over it. It is what it is. So I’m reminded even now to give Praise to God for health and healing, for gifting me with such a sweet and caring hubby who, even though he has a few big shows coming up and REALLY can’t afford to get sick, still brings me ginger ale and crackers anyway (while he wears gloves and a ski mask, haha, but still) and lovingly reminds me that, yes, I’m officially quarantined but that I will be okay.
X and I started the Happiness Jar this year too, and I love already seeing little pieces of paper in there 🙂 We have it on our foyer table and it’s nice being able to walk in the door at the end of the day, seeing the happiness printed, and knowing that even on bad days, during times of sickness, or the days when you just feel like you’ve been beat to crap by everyone and their mom, you can still find at least one thing to be grateful for.
I knew I wanted to choose a word for 2014 (I did last year as well) but I wanted to do something different with the actual word this time. Both X and I chose our own word, went to the “rock bowl” in our family room, grabbed our own rock and sharpies and wrote our word and the year on it. My rock is currently sitting on my desk, a place I’ll see it every day, but the thought is to eventually have our bowl of rocks (ha, I know) filled with our words from each year.
This little rock with this big and powerful word is just one more reminder for me to stick with it… let my rough days be what they are but push past them. To focus more so on the the wonderful things and to talk less. To give Praise even during times of trial. And maybe I will realize it wasn’t always a rough or bad day at all. All it really was, was a little moment in the day – a blip in the road – and I chose the path of Praise.