Happy Monday, all! Alright, a bit of a preface before I launch into sharing my thoughts with you: please know that everything I’m sharing in this post today comes from a place of love and lightheartedness 🙂 I realize you all can’t see my face or hear my tone as you read these words so please just know that I did not write this with lips pursed, snapping my fingers while waving them through the air in your face. (You know?)
Since the minute Crew was born, I have heard a variation of the following literally every day (and usually multiple times a day): “Soak it up now, before you know it he’ll be grown and won’t want to snuggle, etc etc etc.” I seriously hear this every single day. And I’d like to take a moment to let you all know that – for the record, like this is for real – I am soaking it up 😉 All of it. I’m attempting to be present with my boy and really trying not to think too much into the future when he’s 16 and doesn’t want to snuggle up to me anymore. (Although I’m pretty sure he still will. Because I’ll be a ‘cool mom.’) (Wishful thinking?) (Kind of a creepy hope?) (Ok, moving on.)
I get it though. I get why other mamas want to tell newer mamas to “hold on to every moment” and “enjoy it while it lasts,” and while I’m not doubting that my sweet Crew will grow up and that he’ll most likely do so when I’m not looking and it will totally catch me off guard and I’ll probably cry, it also pains my heart (and makes me want to rip my hair out) when I hear those “reminders” every time I share a photo or a moment of us together – whether it’s a sweet moment or a hard moment.
I understand that those reminders are most likely more for that mama’s heart than for my own (because when we miss things in our own life, we feel the need to desperately warn others about it… to appreciate it more… and that it’s gonna suck when it’s gone.) But can I say something? The miracle and blessing and complete and indescribable undying gratitude and love that is Motherhood in my life and that is my son and that is Crew-when-he’s-a-little-baby has never and will never escape my heart. I feel it every single day, every single time I look at his face. Even if I lament about getting 45 minutes of sleep, or lament about colic (it’s gone now, praise Jesus!), or not remember when I last ate actual meal or took a shower… the miracle and gift and JOY that is my son is still there in those moments. And while yes I’m sure there will come a day when he is grown and doesn’t want to fall asleep on my chest (good Lord the tears come even with me just typing that), can I say something else? This mama is not going to wish she soaked up more of the nights of the colic. haha 😉
We have had some really hard days these last few months, Christian and Crew and me (because Newborning is HARD, duh), and I say that because I think a lot of the time, we new moms are afraid to talk about that in such a public way. Because we’re afraid we’ll look ungrateful, when really we just need a hug or someone to say, you’re doing a good job! Of course, the three of us have also had some incredibly sweet, make-you-a-puddle-on-the-floor kind of days too… most of which I can’t bear to share with anyone else outside of our little circle because they’re just too sweet, too precious, and those kinds of moments shouldn’t have to be explained. They’re felt and they’re felt to the tippy top, and I don’t want the reminder to make sure I’m soaking it up because oh, friends… I’m like a human sponge over here. Promise.
Things I know to be true: these days are fleeting. Newborn days, childhood days, adolescent days, early adult days, adult days (because I can tell you without even having to call my parents and ask: they are still soaking up their moments with me and my brother, now grown adults). But you know what else I know to be true? Life itself is fleeting, and focusing on the fact that it’s fleeting isn’t going to make it go any slower or make the moments any sweeter – and I don’t want to go through all of my moments, grasping on with white knuckles, as hard as I can. I think the “secret” is to just live it, to live it as you go through each moment. We may miss a few of those moments here and there when we’re distracted by the hard times, but we have to have faith that we’ll be soaking up all the rest. And we have to breathe deeper knowing it will be enough because we’ve chosen to focus on the moments we were able to catch and savor.
So. Let’s all agree to soak it up – whatever your it may be (although I hope it’s LIFE) – without having to worry ourselves that someone we know might not be soaking their own up enough. And if we do anything today, let us be grateful? XO.
What are you grateful for?
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