faith heartbreak

Sometimes His plans include heartbreak. But in it is also HOPE.

September 11, 2014

Sometimes the things we plan for, the things we plan to share on here, change – and I know that’s okay. This was not the post I’d planned to share today – in fact, I had a completely different post written, scheduled, and all set to go up on here – I’d worked on a fun, 3 minute little Vlog but it’s just not gonna happen.

I’m extremely close to both of my parents but I have this weird (and awesome) connection with my mom. It’s almost like even when we’re not together or haven’t spoken in a few days, our hearts are connected and we can just feel what the other person is going through, whether we know the details or not. It’s been this way since I was little and I’m so grateful that it’s only grown stronger and continued through the years.

As I write this, it’s late Wednesday night and today has been a really weird day. I’m sure you all have picked up on the fact that my time in Indiana while I watch my parents’ home and animals (while they’re away in Kenya), hasn’t exactly been “smooth sailing.” (Mom, if you’re reading this- do not worry. Everyone is healthy and all is well and I promise that!) It’s so important to me to be so positive in this space but this is just how this week has been- it’s been crazy eventful, busy, trying, and today? Has just been… “off.”

The whole day I couldn’t put my finger on it but my heart just felt heavy. I got “that feeling” – one I couldn’t shake – and it wasn’t until dinnertime that I just really started to feel the heartbreak of what my parents must have been experiencing today. I’ve been praying all day for them, not knowing the details, but just knowing that something had happened. I logged onto the mission group’s website to get the daily update and I read the following note posted by one of the guys in the group:

“Sometimes things in life don’t always go the way we would like. Sometimes the presence of this fallen world helps us appreciate the good that God has given to us and how He surrounds us.

Tonight our team learned of an evil action that can be described as darkness. Evil. Sin. It left us trying to catch our breath and it unfortunately cast a shadow on the good events of today. Without going into details at this time, two things are clear: (1) this does not affect our team’s personal safety or well-being; (2) this was a reminder of the brokenness that Mathare Valley represents to all of us – a world that is hurting and one into which we are called to serve.

This information has presented our team with a roller coaster of emotions ranging from anger, despair, worry, concern, brokenness, anger, grief, disgust, panic, paranoia, insecurity, anxiousness, and sadness. We remain, together, and a unified team. There were many happy emotions too today, many, but sometimes it is hard to sort through strong emotions.”

Let me just tell you- reading that and not knowing the details is extremely hard. Learning of the emotions they’re all going through is so hard. I’m so thankful that everyone is safe, physically, but I can feel hearts breaking and I feel so helpless. I know many of you are praying for them and I ask that you continue the prayers. I know that God is leading them over there – surely doing amazing things in His name- bringing Light and Love – but I know that sometimes that also includes heartbreak.

I’m so sorry this is not happy post today, guys. I just did not feel right posting a goofy Vlog when I feel so deeply in my heart what my parents are experiencing over in Africa right now. I’m so proud of everyone in that group – I just cannot even put it into words. Sometimes God’s plans for us includes heartbreak. But in that heartbreak also lies HOPE.

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. – John 16:33

(love seeing my sweet dad with this sweet babe.)
* all pictures sourced from here

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  • So sorry for what your parents (and you!) are going through. I have the same bond with my sister, and I can totally understand what you mean about your heart feeling what your mom's is feeling. Just said a prayer for your parents. It is heavy sometimes when we ask God to use us in a broken world. Thank goodness Jesus promises our burden will be light as we cast our cares on Him! Also just realized the date is 9/11, I'm sure there are a lot of somber feelings in the US today too. A good day to remain in prayer.

  • Heather K

    praying for your parents and all that are involved. What a beautiful bond with your mother. I agree with Linda, I know there are lots of prayers going up today as there are many hurting and need the beautiful reminder of HOPE. What a wonderful message 🙂

  • Melissa Camacho

    Honestly, the post I had scheduled for today: I wish I had done something else. I kind of feel like it might be too silly for today, but maybe that's what the internet needs. Anyway… I absolutely said a prayer for your parents and everyone in Africa. Your message about there always being Hope is SO true, and even though it may be hard to see hope is always there. I said a prayer for you as well because I know it must be so difficult to have such a close bond with your mom and not really know what's going on. Thinking of you, sweetie!

  • ashortblonde

    thank you for sharing this today, emily. i'll be keeping your parents + the entire group in my prayers.

  • Oh Emily, it's tough to not know what's happening over there. Thank God that they are all safe and not in danger -that is a huge blessing in itself. I will continue to keep them in my prayers and I pray that you feel the relief and happiness again as soon as they do. XO

  • chall1018

    Emily! I am so thankful they are not in danger, but cannot imagine how you are feeling not knowing the details. I am praying for your parents and the entire group. Also, I posted about this exact same scripture today for my Grateful heart post I am about to link up! Hugs.

  • How scary to not know .. I will keep them in my prayers. I know what you mean about being "off". Today has been one of those days for me too. So glad that you went with your gut and post what needed to be posted. I need to hear this today. Can't wait to see you vlog later in the week. 🙂

  • Praying so so hard for God to work His mercies and miracles on the lives there. Also praying for the team's safe return to the states. Stay strong girl!

  • Thinking of and praying for your parents and their team. And you absolutely nailed it with, "But in that heartbreak also lies HOPE!" It's so hard to see the good in trying/challenging situations, but believing it's there is half the battle!

  • What is with this week? I will continue to pray for them. And you – continue to bring hope in to every day!

  • Re: your connection with your mom…I call it The Mom Radar. Seriously, my mother knows what I'm up to even from miles away 🙂

    Lord Jesus, I pray that you would keep Emily's parents and the team safe and healthy. Bless the work of their hands for this is actually YOUR work, not theirs. You alone know all the details in Kenya and we believe that you're i control of all things. Keep them in your perfect peace as you have promised; peace that transcends all understanding (Phil 4:6-7). Bless the people they're ministering to in Kenya. In Your name I pray, amen.

  • This brought tears to my eyes! I completely understand how you feel! I have this same awesome connection with my mom! This is so awesome what your parents are doing! Keeping them in my prayers!