Sometimes the things we plan for, the things we plan to share on here, change – and I know that’s okay. This was not the post I’d planned to share today – in fact, I had a completely different post written, scheduled, and all set to go up on here – I’d worked on a fun, 3 minute little Vlog but it’s just not gonna happen.
I’m extremely close to both of my parents but I have this weird (and awesome) connection with my mom. It’s almost like even when we’re not together or haven’t spoken in a few days, our hearts are connected and we can just feel what the other person is going through, whether we know the details or not. It’s been this way since I was little and I’m so grateful that it’s only grown stronger and continued through the years.
As I write this, it’s late Wednesday night and today has been a really weird day. I’m sure you all have picked up on the fact that my time in Indiana while I watch my parents’ home and animals (while they’re away in Kenya), hasn’t exactly been “smooth sailing.” (Mom, if you’re reading this- do not worry. Everyone is healthy and all is well and I promise that!) It’s so important to me to be so positive in this space but this is just how this week has been- it’s been crazy eventful, busy, trying, and today? Has just been… “off.”
The whole day I couldn’t put my finger on it but my heart just felt heavy. I got “that feeling” – one I couldn’t shake – and it wasn’t until dinnertime that I just really started to feel the heartbreak of what my parents must have been experiencing today. I’ve been praying all day for them, not knowing the details, but just knowing that something had happened. I logged onto the mission group’s website to get the daily update and I read the following note posted by one of the guys in the group:
“Sometimes things in life don’t always go the way we would like. Sometimes the presence of this fallen world helps us appreciate the good that God has given to us and how He surrounds us.
Tonight our team learned of an evil action that can be described as darkness. Evil. Sin. It left us trying to catch our breath and it unfortunately cast a shadow on the good events of today. Without going into details at this time, two things are clear: (1) this does not affect our team’s personal safety or well-being; (2) this was a reminder of the brokenness that Mathare Valley represents to all of us – a world that is hurting and one into which we are called to serve.
This information has presented our team with a roller coaster of emotions ranging from anger, despair, worry, concern, brokenness, anger, grief, disgust, panic, paranoia, insecurity, anxiousness, and sadness. We remain, together, and a unified team. There were many happy emotions too today, many, but sometimes it is hard to sort through strong emotions.”
Let me just tell you- reading that and not knowing the details is extremely hard. Learning of the emotions they’re all going through is so hard. I’m so thankful that everyone is safe, physically, but I can feel hearts breaking and I feel so helpless. I know many of you are praying for them and I ask that you continue the prayers. I know that God is leading them over there – surely doing amazing things in His name- bringing Light and Love – but I know that sometimes that also includes heartbreak.
I’m so sorry this is not happy post today, guys. I just did not feel right posting a goofy Vlog when I feel so deeply in my heart what my parents are experiencing over in Africa right now. I’m so proud of everyone in that group – I just cannot even put it into words. Sometimes God’s plans for us includes heartbreak. But in that heartbreak also lies HOPE.
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. – John 16:33