You all were so super sweet and fun with your Instagram and email comments on Saturday as I was getting ready to go jam out to one of my beloved 80s bands: Journey.
As I was getting ready, I listened to my 80s station on Pandora, and tried to get as 80s-i-fied (?) as I possibly could, without looking too… “Babysitters Club” – does that make sense? I finally settled on a side ponytail (but not obnoxious, you know?) with jorts, some leather, and a leopard bracelet. I mean- all of those things say 80S ROCK, right?! (And I can see my friend Andrea shaking her head in disproval over those jorts but they’re from The Gap, okay? They’re super cute.) I was especially proud of the side pony though, especially considering I don’t tend to do anything other than “down” or “up” with my hair.
I jumped in the car and said a little “props to you!” to God for holding off the rain – it was gray out but no rain! I stopped at the gas station to pick up some Red Bull, water, and snack (Red Bull for pre-gaming and the water and snack for the return trip). I totally felt like I was in high school as I took my first sip of RB – ready to rage, you know? I then did the ol’ drive by to pick up my good (and hilarious) friend Keren and we. were. off. You know that friend who, no matter what is going on- and I mean no matter WHAT terrible thing may be happening- they can still make you laugh your face off? That’s my friend Keren. I mean she ranks up there with my Dad and Christian funny. So imagine what it’s like on a day that is already fabulous- she has me practically peeing my pants from laughing so hard.
The drive to the concert venue was no easy trek. I’d never been to this venue and as the miles continued, I kept telling Keren, “I seriously feel like we’re on a road trip right now!” It was only an hour away, but really felt like we were driving to Iowa or something. As we neared the venue, we noticed a ton of cop cars rerouting people. Of course, I got really excited, thinking there was some sort of drug bust or something (I know, I’ve been watching too much Cops) until I saw a sign that said “Concert Postponed.” Keren gasped and looked at me and I just kept driving. I think I muttered something like, “Nah. It’s probably for some other little local show around here.” But as I neared the venue entrance, there were more cops, preventing anyone from pulling in, and one of the cops said over his speaker: “The concert has been postponed to a later date due to venue flooding. Continue on the directed rou-” and that’s when I stopped
giving a crap listening.
WHAT?!?!?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING.
I think I was silent for 30 seconds as I then turned to look at Keren who was wide-eyed and trying not to laugh. I mean, it was totally comical. We’d just driven an hour, pumping ourselves up for this Journey concert, only to have it cancelled. We decided to drive the hour back home and do the one thing you can do in a situation like this: go out for margaritas.
So that’s exactly what we did. I mean it’s the next best alternative right?? I took down my side pony and I drank my margarita as Keren showed me all of the hilarious picture apps on her phone. Like this one, “Bimbo-ify yourself”
I’m not sure if this is so much a bibmo-ify yourself as it is a “this is what I’d look like if I was a dude in drag” but it served its purpose and we could not stop laughing. Then, Keren told me that you can make your own peanut butter at Whole Foods and I’d never heard of this so of course we had to go try it. We got to the peanut butter aisle at WF only to find that they were fresh out of peanut butter maker containers. So we did the only thing you can do: take hilarious pictures in the sauce aisle.
And that was that, all. I took Keren home, I went home and watched Cops. In my jorts. (It felt appropriate.)
Disclaimer: Tickets would have been provided by the Illinois Lottery had torrential downpours not flooded the venue and canceled the concert. (I’m not bitter at all.) Reviews of this catastrophe are 100% my own.