Happy Monday 🙂 Let’s catch up a bit today, ok? Many people have been asking if there has been any progress or any updates with the adoption and I thought it might be time for me to take that next step and share an update of sorts on here. I’d originally planned on sharing parts of our journey in an organized fashion – starting with the ‘why’ as well as at the beginning – and I will definitely go back to the beginning and share those parts at some point (because they’re equally as precious and important to our journey) but today? Today we’re in the middle… and I feel the desire to share bits and pieces of what that looks like, means, and feels.
We completed the home study part of our (domestic) adoption in July and are now in “the waiting period.” This means that we are waiting to be matched with a birth mother.
For those of you who may not know, the home study portion of the adoption process is a lot more than your social worker coming to make sure you don’t live in a dump and that you have working fire alarms 😉 The home study includes the most paperwork you’ve ever filled out in your entire life, it’s also counseling, educational classes, more paperwork, more classes, doctor appointments, home visits, more counseling, and again- more classes and paperwork. For some it can take months to get through this process, fortunately for us it only took about 4 weeks. So, because I’m a “do-er,” in some sick way I actually enjoyed this part of the process because we could see the progress. We could feel it. We were checking off boxes. (I love checking off boxes.) We were getting that support each week from our social worker and other adoptive parents who attended the classes and panels. But when all of those things are over and you’re officially “on the list” to be matched with a birth mother? It’s like radio silence. There’s nothing else to do but to wait… and some days it feels like this part of the process is just going to go on and on and on. And I know it won’t last forever, I know this. But this is how it feels right now.The waiting period can be short (as in any day), or it can be really long (as in a year+) – we just don’t know. But I can tell you this – it doesn’t matter how long or how short you wait – the waiting period of the adoption journey is really hard. It downright sucks and I can say that because we’re in it right now. The actual waiting isn’t necessarily even the hardest part either, but for me it’s the not knowing what the waiting time looks like. We have no due date, we have no idea how long this part will last, and yes- even though I know without a doubt “this will all be worth it!” (of course it will!) – that doesn’t mean there aren’t some hard days here and there. When you’re in the waiting part of adoption – the waiting part when you haven’t yet been matched – it seriously feels like time has stopped and that you’re just sitting there in the dark.
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