I’ve been thinking a lot about my life’s story and what parts of it and me I would want others to remember and know. I mean, thinking about this sort of thing is typically something that is done towards the end of one’s life, I know this, but sometimes I have to remind myself that my story has already begun.
I’ve had some pretty big moments in my life so far that hold large chapters, like the time I signed with my dream modeling agency, Elite Model Management. Or when I visited my dream city, Paris. Or the time I left my corporate job to pursue writing full time (and within that lies the start of this blog and the start of my first novel). Or how about the time I married my best friend 🙂 One of the best days of my life, hands down – meeting him a close second. (And so many more amazing big moments.) Of course, not all of my big moments have been joyous occasions, and yet they still make up important parts of my story… like ending a seriously toxic relationship, or years of struggling with infertility, or the day my Grandpa Bob took his last breath. (And so many more hard big moments.) All of those things, the good and the hard, have shaped me – changed me, even – and my life in some way.
What have your big life moments looked like? Did they involve a dream coming true? Was there heartbreak?
While life’s big moments are important, surely they will stand out on their own, right? I can’t help but feel the importance of remembering that so much of my story is made up of the little moments too – the simple moments. Like the ones when doors have been held, endless I Love You’s have been said and received, walks in the sunshine have been appreciated by the deepest part of my soul, my husband’s shoulder has so graciously been given because I just needed to cry, and gossip magazines and a bottle of wine were driven over to a girl friend’s house late on a Monday night because she’d had ‘one of those’ days.
What have your little life moments looked like? Have they been sweet? Have they been messy?
Have they been far from picture perfect?
It’s only been in more recent years where I’ve realized the importance of accepting the fact that my life’s story will not always read pretty. It will not be a perfect story – and I’m learning that THAT’S OKAY. We have easy access to the Perfection Button, and we use it often – don’t we? We can post and write about all of the ‘perfect’ things going on in our lives, unbeknownst to others the storm we had to endure to get to that point. We can Photoshop and edit all of our pictures to fine out the lines on our foreheads and the circles under our eyes, but the unedited version may tell a story of late nights, hard work, a broken heart, or so much laughter that has resulted in permanent marks in the corners of our eyes. All of our moments – the big and small, the picture perfect and the messy – all of them are important. All of them hold meaning, all of them hold value. And while there might be quite a few we’d like to forget (because God knows I have a few!), I still have to admit that even those moments have aided in making me who I am today. Messy or sweet – they are all important pieces to my life’s story. (I’m working on sharing more of the messy ones 😉 Courage, dear heart.) I’m learning to acknowledge and give thanks for every single one and really, in doing so, I think I’m starting to better understand God’s unconditional love for me.
When I think about the story I’ll leave behind, I hope it’s an honest one. I hope it’s a grateful one. I hope it encourages to persevere. I hope it brings light. I hope it provides a lot of laughs. I hope it tells the story of all of my moments – the big ones and the little ones. Most of all though? I hope it tells of His Love and Grace.
What will your story have to say?
A version of this post was originally first shared on 5/19/15 over at Best Kept Self.